Our trip to Oregon

"What now?" as my adorable nephew says all the time, following his Mommy around and repeating, as if in mantra, "What now?" I grew a little crush on him after spending time in Oregon. He's so cute and sweet and watched over Amelia like she were his own responsibility. Here he is on this little ATV kinda thing for kids. It only goes five miles per hour.

Still, this is just the kind of thing makes me nervous - kids in charge of moving vehicles. But since they have a huge plot of land with no fences, he drives a full 360 around the house, about a thousand times before coming back in and repeating, "What now?"

Their yard is a few acres that surround the house. It's so different from where we're living right now, dead center in suburban utopia with a small yard in front and back, neighbors within shouting distance, children bouncing on trampolines and yelling at your kid to come play over the fence. Over there, you can't see many of their neighbors from their yard. And they have gardens galore. It feels like the promise land pulling up their driveway with flowers blooming all around. There are two awesome swings out front - a tire swing and a regular swing that are tied to a tree limb about 20 feet up. The motion the swing makes is so much like the motion of a trapeze. While Mark was pushing me, I got a back case of the giggles which felt really euphoric for just a few minutes. Good thing since the trapeze place in Portland I planned to take a class at was not available.



And then! (As if that weren't enough) the backyard of my brothers playground has a playset and trampoline. Moriah and her girl cousins woke up and went outside, wandering the entire day from place to place, thing to thing. It was the closest thing to a real vacation for us since she was actually occupied and entertained.




We spent a couple of days at a beach house in Newport. One afternoon at the beach was gorgeous - beautiful weather and we found lots of sea life in the reefs. The next day, however, was more of a typical Oregon coast day, overcast and very cold.





Our first days were spent in Portland. What a great city. A metro train that runs all over downtown - free. Everyone recycles. The coolest bridges, coffee shops and this unbelievable bookstore downtown called Powell Books. If you get a chance to go to Portland, the bookstore is a fantastic place to spend a few hours.

One day we drove to the Columbia Gorge and watched some windsurfers and kite surfers. We also had a great look at Mt. Hood. Just driving along the winding coast roads with the mountains on our right, water on our left, felt great. We are chewing our nails at the thought of getting closer to sea and mountains again. It was really nice to getaway.

Look! A New Look!

Inspired by repeated remarks from friends and loved ones that I'm a Dreamer and should get my head out of the Friggin clouds, I found this beautiful background, courtesy of Aqua Poppy Designs. And it was Free! And Easy!! So you can stop waiting for Oprah to call and give you that makeover, a new look is just a click away. Thanks Aqua Poppy. And thanks Janel, who is sporting one of Aqua Poppy's designs who I so lovingly poached from.
Are you still wearing that awful standard template? What are you doing? Go. Go.

The Rules Have Changed. Again.

Oh Gawd, I'm so annoyed with this blog. I can't stand the look of it, I'm so sick of that picture of me which doesn't really look like me now considering I had to chop my hair and I've gained weight since baby #2 and..and it's just so neglected. I go back and forth playing this tug of war with myself about whether I should continue or not. Today, for some reason, I decided that I really do want to get on the blog wagon. But I'd like to take down photos of my beautiful children, take that picture of me when I was 20 pounds thinner and hadn't had my head molested by the dermatologist down. I wouldn't want to portray the impression that I'm actually still attractive. I've always erred on the honest and real side, so I feel like a complete liar having a pre-preggo picture of me up on my blog. Go ahead, throw your tomatoes and say your boos. I'm not the first woman who has clung to her pre-birthing body. I still have hope, mind you, it's just taking much longer than I expected. And the whole process has been really frustrating.

So now, where should I begin? As usual, I've waited too long to write and now I have so many things to say.

Are you wearing your pajamas? I just have a feeling you're reading this wearing your pajamas. If so, Awesome. I'm wearing mine, too. Make up has been washed off, kids are in bed, I can hear Mark downstairs moving dishes around and my wet hair from the shower is clinging to my neck. It practically feels like a slumber party.

I could tell you about our family trip to Oregon which was more or less awesome. I love my family of origin and through the years I find less and less to fault them for. You know how when you're growing up it's "you stupid ass" this and "go to hell" that and "I hope you burn in he...."? What? You guys didn't say that in your family? What's wrong with you people? Anyway, now I have such an admiration for my brothers, my sister in law and a growing respect for my Mother who, by my current age, had three kids, the youngest of which was eleven years old!! I can hardly imagine having babies in my twenties. It really puts a lot in perspective considering that at 21 you're still a child yourself. Of course, if you're reading this and your 21 well then you must be much more mature than the average 21 year old...just wait a little longer before you have kids, okay? My poor Mom. She was So born in the wrong generation.

But what I really want to write about aside from the beauty of Oregon is that the rules in life just keep changing. Or rather, the rules of my body just keep changing. It feels as if this blog is turning into a health blog and there's very good reason for that. My health is just not the mare it used to be. I'm on a first name basis with the dermatologist and all of his assistants, I now have a naturalist doctor for hormone therapy and as of late I've been researching celiac's disease. Let me back up a week and tell you where all of this is coming from.

The morning we left my brothers house I wasn't feeling well. Actually, I hadn't been feeling well all week which I attributed to falling off my no wheat and no sugar diet which was prescribed by the naturalist (at $60 and hour) to help calm my hormones during that time of the month. I ate, I drank and I made myself sick. The morning we took off, we had a two hour drive to the airport. I felt terrible as we took off and knew it would only be a matter of time before things began to happen. About an hour later, on a two lane highway in between two podunk towns, I shouted at Mark to pull over. On the side of that freeway, projectile elimination occurred by every means possible within just a few minutes time. I have never been so thankful for three foot high grass in my life. Luckily, after a few more stops, I had nothing left to offer Portland airport other than my luggage. But what an awful day, and the following day stunk too. And the next day I didn't feel so well. And then today even - 8 days later - I'm still dragging.

Mom has told me several times that she just doesn't feel good when she eats wheat. And then her sister, my Aunt, doesn't eat bread because her doctor told her if she continued she'd be predisposed to diabetes. Doing a bit of research on celiac's disease I learned that it often runs in the family and many people with celiac's disease are misdiagnosed as having diabetes. I've learned a lot about it from this website as well as from reading Elizabeth Hasselback's book, "The G Free Diet". If you follow that link you can read her entire first chapter online.

Doing the wheat free/sugar free diet immediately made me feel so much better - more energy, lighter spirit. But then the diet allowed me to have two pieces of sprouted wheat per day - a very healthy wheat bread made by Ezekiel. I did notice that while I was still feeling better than I had when eating my normal diet, I wasn't feeling as spunky as when I eliminated all wheat the first few days. Anyway, this is the latest. I'm really sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, quite frankly. But the upside to all this downer news is that I think I'm finally on to something. I can remember even five years ago when Mark and I lived in Benicia, CA I would eat a muffin almost everyday on the way in to work and my stomach was always hurting. I even knew I probably shouldn't eat the muffin, but I loved the taste and convenience of it so much I did anyway and put up with the repercussions. In hindsight, I think my body has been talking to me for years and I've been doing my best not to hear it. But between this latest illness and the one just a month and a half ago where I was also down for a week, I'm starting to get the message. The rules of my body have changed, now I need to follow suit.

More online research turned up some great blogs on gluten free living like gluten-free girl and Gluten Free Goddess which post recipes that are gluten free and delicious. I don't actually have to eat like a rabbit to feel good. There are yummy options out there for me. Thank goodness because I've never been good at deprivation.

Ciao Fo Now. In the meantime, maybe I'll update the look of this place. Do a little redecorating.

Don't Trust Yourself??

There are just so many things about religion that really piss me off. I probably shouldn't even go where I'm about to go, but it's on my mind and tipping at my fingers, so I'm going there anyway. A friend on facebook quoted D.L. Moody, "Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity." This is just the kind of quote that can scratch at the inside of my feminist veins. I consider any woman who values her own opinion as much as a mans a feminist because our opinions, and voices, didn't used to matter. And for many women it takes half a lifetime to trust ourselves, to trust our own voice and our intuition. For many women, the path to trusting themselves was rife with pain and suffering at the misguidance of someone else's voice we thought we should have been listening to. This particular friend has two girls as well, which I think upsets me even more because I'm just imagining parents sitting down and saying, "Don't trust in yourself, Girls, that will only lead to disappointment."

Let me not take away from the point, I think, of this quote which is to say that God should be our ultimate guide in life as opposed to our temporary desires, cravings, whimsical wander lusting, etc. If, for example, I am trying to decide whether to buy the $300 Prada purse because I think it would really make me look hot when I know my husbands been pinching every penny just to pay my education loans, it would be wise to turn an eye up and ask for some guidance. In life decisions, I think it's important to pray rather than just thinking it through. I believe wisdom greater than your own understanding can come to you through prayer.

HOWEVER! ac hem, there are so so so very many times in life when it is absolutely essential to trust in oneself. And who is D.L. Moody - wasn't he alive like during the medieval times anyway when the government was God and they used the name of God to scare the hell out of any sort of independence? Okay, that was a side rant.

Let me break it down to you, brothers and sisters. When I hear this quote, it makes me think of young, naive girls on the forefront of making life altering decisions. There are times when you are faced with some ugly, difficult stuff - especially as a young girl. There are so many sexual predators out there with a sneaky, cunning authority who will tell you what you should do. And even though you feel your skin prickling from the under side, even though your hairs are standing on end, if you've been taught not to trust in yourself how are you going to stand up to someone who supposedly knows better? I will never even utter the words "don't trust in yourself" to my daughters. Despite the intention of the writer, those words are not okay in my book. Trust in God, yes. And then, with the faith that He will see you through, make the best decision that you can.

I can't stop there. There's something else that really bugs me about this quote. Who is he kidding that we are never to be confounded in time or eternity? Hello? Jesus never said we wouldn't be confused. Did he? Stop me if I'm wrong. But people get a few things mixed up about having a relationship with Jesus. Occasionally I've seen people stumble upon the thought that if they believe in Jesus, they will no longer experience hardship, discomfort, or as Mr. Moody has said here, confusion. As long as Jesus is in their pocket, all will be smooth and easy, and if you follow Joel Olsteen, you'll even be Rich!!! It's such a great thing - just believe and suddenly BAM!! All your problems solved. It sounds so much like one of those infomercials.

I think that God's ultimate concern is for our eternal comfort which may or may not give us blessings in our current lifetime. It's been awhile since I got cozy with the Bible so I'm not pulling out scriptures here - but I don't believe God is as concerned about whether we live in a cozy 4 bed 2 bath with 2 fireplaces as he is with our character. And as for confusion, there are a great many wonderful Christians who will die being confused about lots of things. Don't we all have a few questions for the Ringleader when this adventure is through? I know I do.

Deep breath out.

Okay. I'm done.

For Now At least.

...

Keeping Me on My Toes

Yesterday was one of those anomalous, extraordinary days where things kept happening that forced me to react swiftly and, well, like someone half my age. First of all, I had invited one of my overworked and under rested friends to drop two of her three kids off at the house for a play date. Her third is the same age as Amelia- born the day after actually, in a room on the floor below us at the hospital. I thought it would give her a nice break and for us, it would be no big deal. We're home anyway, right? It's just two more kids, right?
At about 10am, Moriah is so excited for our friends to come that she must sit on the lemonade porch to wait on them. We've been getting a lot more time out on the porch lately, as evident by Moriah's boundless artwork covering the porch floor.




Usually, our time on the lemonade porch is a time of relaxation, talking about things of no consequence. We've really been trying our best to relax, and out on the lemonade porch, it's mostly working. Anyway, Moriah had moved to the driveway, no doubt seeking out fresh asphalt for her work. Amelia was in her little portable play yard, and Henry, my sweet geriatric foxhound mutt who only wants but a few things in life; leftovers, a good scratch, and to mount other dogs, was lying there napping. His hearing has gone bad, his bones seem to ache and he mostly lays around now. He's as harmless as he could be in his twilight years.

I had just stepped into the house to get the phone in case my friend was running late and wanted to call when I heard someone frantically shouting out front. I turned, now about 10 steps from the front door, to see the large white dog across the street charging at our house. I know this dog, she is a proud, young and strong bitch who has a thing against Henry for trying to mount her months and months ago. She recently gave Henry a mauling out front when I wasn't around. Mark said he was kicking the dog to get it off Henry. She had tackled him to the ground and was biting his collar, but not a true bite. If she wanted to kill him, she probably could have. She's probably 150 lbs, Henry is only 60..and old. But she was definitely mean to him, this was no love tackle.

I lurched myself back to the door, raced outside, grabbed Henry (who was still napping and completely unaware of what was happening) by the collar, dragged him about 4 steps to the front door then pulled the door closed....onto the big white dogs neck. The dog was trying to get into the house to get Henry. I gave her neck a good squeeze in the door and she pulled back, finally listened to her owner and went home. Her owner apologized as she followed the dog back home. I hope this doesn't happen on a semi-regular basis or things could get ugly. As it was, I was enjoying my adrenaline rush too much to be angry at the time, but the fact is that if her dog had hurt my dog it could have been a very bad situation.

And then the girls came. Need I say more about the next five hours other than that every moment someone seemed to need something. Very good girls they are, and they were on good behavior. But if it wasn't a glass of water, it was a snack, or help with the faucet in the bathroom, or unlocking the playroom door that someone had locked, or opening the back door for the littlest one that was in and out, in and out. A bit of bickering over who got to hold the water hose, followed by lots of bickering, followed by Moriah behaving very badly. Finally, I had to call a cease and desist to all parties; calming them with juice boxes and a Fairytopia video.

And just the day before I was thinking I could help someone else by taking care of their kids in my home. I'm already here, I thought, what would be the big deal. Now I have a much better understanding of what the big deal would be and I think I'll just take care of my own, thank you.

Finally, at 9pm last night, we were all winding down. Moriah and Amelia in bed. Mark in bed. Me in the shower. But..what is that? I hear water, not from my shower, but from somewhere else. I turn off the shower to get a better hear. Sure enough, I hear lots of water, but where is that coming from. I open the door to the toilet and there it is, spurting out in full force all over the little room and now into the rest of the bathroom. Within thirty seconds there was a puddle growing at my feet. I shout to Mark, "Water. Everywhere." He rises stupidly from his sleep and just runs out of the bedroom and outside looking for the water turn off thingy. Did I mention that he was naked? Well. Just a detail really. Meanwhile, standing there wondering what to do, I realize that it's just a connector that has come loose on the toilet - and if I just turn off the toilet, all will be remedied. So, I put a towel in front of my face to protect myself from the spraying and manage to turn the toilet off, rescuing our entire family from mayhem and madness. Did I mention that I was naked? Well, just a detail. Amelia has heard us and is screaming in her crib, Moriah is awake and thrilled to see we've made a complete mess of the bathroom. Mark comes back upstairs, now finally awake, wondering what he was thinking by sprinting out like that, and reporting that the water is dripping down into the living room. We clean up, we place a bucket strategically under the slowing drip, We remark how lucky that this didn't happen while we were on vacation. And then, finally, after some talking to Moriah, we went to sleep. Sheesh.